Our Love Story - The Circle
I drove him home and parked in his driveway. I turned off my engine and lowered down the music to talk. I look over to him and he grabs my hand and looks down and his eyes begin to water and tear.
I remind him of how this will either end: we be together or we stop seeing each other. As I do he cries. I wipe away his tears with one hand and grab hold of his hand with the other.
We step outside of the car and take a walk, stopping just in front of his house I look down the street where it began and where it might just end. I thought as I looked down the illuminated street, “I’ve driven up and down this street so many times. I rode a bike for the first time on this street with him. I’m going to miss this street.”
As he walks up to me he takes the umbrella in his hand and draws a sliver in the dirt road. “This is how I feel right now, this sliver is who I am.” He extends the outline of the sliver making it part of a complete circle. He points the end of his umbrella at the bigger portion of the circle he drew in and says, “This circle is my life and that part is you.” I look down at the shape he drew in the dirt and admire what he has done. “You take up a whole part of my life so that’s why I can’t lose you.” He begins to cry and I look up to him and back down at the ground.
I walk across the circle and stop at the other side and face him, he follows me to the other side. I turn toward him and draw a line between us. “There is a line between us right now and it stands for what we want. I want a relationship with you and you don’t. You’re not ready for one but I am. Unless we’re both on the same side of this line, I don’t think I can continue seeing you.” His tears continue to fall down his face.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“Well unless you think you can be in a relationship then you might just have to.”
“I want to be with you then.”
He surprises me with his response. I almost don’t believe him. Just 24 hours ago he made me feel sad and sick hearing him say that he doesn’t think he could be in a relationship again and that he doesn’t think he’s capable of having one.
“Yes. Of course.”
I again don’t believe him.
“I get it cause I’ve had like 5 drinks in me already.”
I immediately think “yeah,” how can I believe him when he’s inebriated but I give him the benefit of the doubt and remind him of what he said 24 hours ago.
“I’m willing to put aside my insecurities for you. I just don’t want to lose you.”
It shocked me. Throwing me off from what I expected him to do when I originally saw him that day. I never thought he’d do something like this for me or for anyone in that manner. The night before he convinced me that there wasn’t an “us” to think about, that he needed to do some soul searching and come to terms with himself before he could accept someone into his life the way I wanted him to.
I doubted myself for a while before accepting the reality of it all.
“Do you really want to be with me?”
“Yes yes. Of course.”
“Will you be loyal to me?”
“Yes, I can be as loyal as you want me to be.”
“Will you be honest with me?”
“As long as you’ll be honest with me too.”
“Will you be there for me?”
“If you’ll be there for me too.”
And with that I thought…
“Forever and always. I love you.”